The Artist Formerly Known As Bart…Is Now Nancy.

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So all I wanted for Christmas was to see the undefeated patriots lose to the Dallas Cowboys in the Superbowl. Well, so much for the Cowboys knocking them off, but I did become a Giants fan for one game only. Normally I am in position in front of my TV way before the actual game starts. But I have three kids, and daddy just got home today, so I would have to rely on TIVo. I did not even get to start the game until 10:30pm, but it did not matter…I was pumped.

To make a long story short, I watched the whole game only to have my TIVo shut down with 4 minutes left in the game. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!? I had to find out who won on sportscenter. Only the greatest upset in NFL history and I missed it!!!! When that dang TIVo shut off, all I heard was the sound of my manhood being sucked out of me.

I think the rules of “manhood” state that if you miss a superbowl game, you must where a sign that says, “Nancy” for one year until you can redeem yourself by watching next year’s game. If for any reason you are looking for the only guy in America that missed the end of one of the greatest superbowls ever…have no fear, Nancy is here. The only thing that would have made this night worse would be if it were the Cowboys instead of the Giants and I missed it. So thank you Dallas…thank you for not putting me through the possible misery of missing your phenomenal victory over the dreaded patriots.

-Bart “Nancy” Millard

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