Bart’s Crowded Airplane Rant

Ok so I am flying out of Valdosta, GA on a really early flight, so here is my rant.

It drives me crazy when I sit anywhere near that person in the movies who fidgets with their candy wrapper the whole time trying to reach that last piece of candy. I completely lose focus of the movie and I swear that candy wrapper is the loudest thing on the planet. I just want to get up and help the sad soul out, so they can put the wrapper down before someone gets hurt. And there is not even a sense of urgency to get the candy out. Oh no, they are somehow able to enjoy the movie while they slowly dig into the deafening plastic M&M bag. Oh man I am coming out of my skin just thinking about it. So here’s to you “über annoying cinematic candy wrapper torturer” guy! You have once again succeeded in me not having a clue what movie I came to see!


PS. FYI one of the band members falls under this category. I don’t wanna name names, but it rhymes with spike hoytzer.

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  • Denise

    Hang in there Bart! 😉 You have heard of road rage….maybe you have air rage? LOL! Praying for you guys!

  • Heidi Reed

    How about cell phones ringing in the middle of the movie? Or, worse yet, a cell phone on vibrate ripping my mind to shreds during a final exam in algebra. I know. You are irritated just thinking about it now, aren’t you? People suck. Let’s just start our own club of perfection, Bart. You in?

  • Randy

    I travel quite frequently and am getting on plane in a few hours myself. I once wrote a post of top ten plane annoyances at

    Sorry for the self promotion but it does fit right in there with what you are saying :)>

  • Mandy

    Poor Spike…Has to be publicly humiliated…jk.

  • TLC

    Is this pick on Mike day or what? Maybe you just didn’t get enough sleep. Patience, patience, patience.

  • Rebecca T :-)

    Hey, at least he hasn’t brought any alligators into the movie theater! 😀

  • Robbie Paisley

    Poor Mike, he just wants all of his candy.

    The one thing that bothers me most at movies is the cell phones. Talking is ranked second.

  • Kim the SLOB.. AKA Kim in Ga

    What about the people who stuff their mouths full of popcorn & then chew with it open? And why are they ALWAYS sitting behind me?? I loved Wall-E, Bart…. other than the popcorn machine behind me!

  • Bari

    Bart, ia there REALLY an airport in Valdosta, Georgia?

  • Jim Z

    You must be so sick of flying by now. Can you afford your own jet yet?

  • Jess

    Bart, I can SOOO relate! I hate distractions in the movie theater. I have one friend who I finally decided I would just never go to another movie with her if at all possible. It was always bad enough that she was loud about digging in her popcorn (who knew that could be so loud?) you know, like slowly, repeatedly digging for the kernel on the absolute bottom of the bag. And she evidently does not know how to whisper. Any and all comments are said in regular converstation tone. And apparently all laughing must be overdone in public places, in her eyes. But, it wasn’t until I took her to see “Facing the Giants” and just going into the ‘death crawl’ scene (where Brock dramatically and unknowingly makes it all the way down the field with the other dude on his back) this friend of mine takes out her emery board and starts filing down her nails!!! All this drama building up on the screen and she’s over there just sawing away on her nails!! That did it for me. I was so irritated I just about got up and walked to another seat. Thankfully though, it was like my 3rd time seeing that movie, so I knew how it all went down and had already enjoyed it by myself before then!! 🙂

  • Trish

    Dearest Bart,

    Galatians 5:22-23
    22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
    23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.



  • Buggy G

    My mom apparently thinks sermons just aren’t as enjoyable without candy (usually peppermint) to go along with them. She tries to take the wrapper off quietly, but she only prolongs that annoying crinkle sound. It’s like pulling off a Band-Aid — just rip it off and get it over with!

    Whenever I go to the movies, a tall person inevitably sits in front of me…or someone with Marge Simpson hair. Even when there are plenty of other seats available, nooo, they have to sit directly in front of ME! Or if by some miracle I can actually see the screen, I can’t hear a thing because a human garbage disposal is eating popcorn behind me.

    Then there was the lady who complained about a baby that MIGHT be in the same theater and MIGHT cry. “There’s a baby in the bathroom. Are we gonna have to listen to it cry all through the movie?” Of course, I’m the blessed one who gets to sit next to Mary Poppins and her husband, whose breathing machine whistles every other second! Okay, I’m not that cruel or uncompassionate, but still…

    I’m a big fan of Blockbuster.

  • Cassandra, a S.L.O.B.

    I agree… Patience, good sir. Hehehe

  • Candice

    I don’t like people kicking my seat. The candy thing will only bother you if you pay attention to it. 🙂

  • Kaleb Trail

    heres to you “tell it how it is mercyme lead singer guy” for letting the slob community know just how you feel about real life issues in this current society. *Claps hands*

  • Scrappy

    Enjoyed your Valdosta show. What’s with the hat?

  • beverly walker

    Bart, wanted to say how much we appreciate MercyMe coming to Wild Adventures here in Valdosta. The band was fabulous and I especially enjoyed your testimony and your aknowledgement of God and all his Glory! I think some souls were won over to Christ with your talk. Your band is a “breath of fresh air” in todays world. God bless and I will keep your ministry in my prayers. Again, thanks so much for MercyMe and praise be to the living God!!!

  • april

    Bart, I feel your pain on noisy snackers. We will get to a movie 20 minutes early and see either at the very top or very bottom so that I dont have to be around noisy people during a movie! My husband and I recently went to NYC and paid a whole lot to see Phantom of the Opera. The first half of the play someone sitting a few rows behind us snacked very slowly and very loudly on what smelled like pork rinds. I was about to lose my mind. Who the heck brings a snack to a Broadway play!? During intermission, several people around us commented on it. My husband was proud of me for not shhh-ing them! 🙂

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