Bart’s Crowded Airplane Rant

Hello fellow SLOBs!

Well I am sitting in the dreaded middle seat on a crowded flight, and decided to say hello and get some stuff off my chest. In fact, I am starting a new series called “Bart’s Crowded Airplane Rant.” This is where, by “slobbing” on my iPhone, I will prevent myself from going absolutely nuts on the plane while the lady next to me falls asleep with her elbow jabbed in my ribs. All I am saying is I had the armrest first! So here we go with the first installment of “Bart’s Crowded Airplane Rant.” Enjoy. Oh Lord she just woke up coughing up a lung. I think I am gonna faint.

Cheesy church signs! Why do we do this? Everywhere I go, I see the small church marquee with something corny like “God checks His Knee-mail.” Are you kidding me? Knee-mail? Or how about “CH–CH. What’s missing? UR.” Come on churches, you’re killing me!

Do we sincerely believe that some guy, who does not know Christ, is gonna drive by and see a sign that says,” Get right or get left” and think to himself,” Wow, not only is it a witty play on words, but I think I need to go in and get things settled!” Probably not. In fact, most people will think it is a joke like most of the actual church does. Maybe that church sign is meant be used to inform people what time church starts, or to support the local high school team through the playoffs, but please, no more corny phrases…actually I take that back. Do I really wanna live in a word without these ridiculous phrases? Nope. I guess deep down I kind of enjoy these church signs being comic relief for the community. Besides, how else would I realize that summertime is hot, but hell is hotter. So nevermind.

Please, please by all means leave a comment with your best church sign gem.
 

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